Birth of the Stepdad Bod

What a savior to American male culture the 'dad bod' was. A fall guy for fraternity ragers, lazy average joes and actual dads grinding to provide for the fam. The true definition of the dad bod has been evasive. Is it a confidence? A state of mind? Do you actually have to be a dad? Have you completely let yourself go, or just exercise infrequently? The bottom line is that it's 2019, the dad bod sold out and you're no longer off the hook. And however seemingly irrelevant, a prevalence of of blended families is emerging and there's a new movement. The 'stepdad bod'.

The stepdad bod isn't replacing the dad bod, just as a stepfather doesn't replace a father. It's a completely separate entity. The analogies are there, but this isn't about glorifying stepfathers or knocking dads. It's not about the differences in making a child and raising a child. Actually, the two aren't typically exclusive of one another. It's about the constant choice to take on a role. Not the obligation. The decision to be a role model, protector and a source of strength and support. Just as a trusted chef bears a belly and the tattoo artist is tatted, the stepdad bod is a representation of tremendous effort, fortitude and adversity. Might as well look the part.

Now, empowering men to live judgement-free and maintain a healthy body image is one thing. To justify living an unhealthy lifestyle by claiming a trend is another. Especially to host a dad bod and not actually be a dad. In fact, as the dad bod culture is exposed, so is its flimsy foundation. You don't have to be out of shape to be proud of who you are. The dad bod bias is like some weird reverse body shaming. If criticizing even mildly fit people for "working out 19 times a day," "skipping family time to get abs," and "not enjoying life" makes you feel better, you might have a dad bod. You also might not have the energy or capacity to play with your kids, keep your wife happy, or maintain your hero dad status. On the other hand, the health benefits of the stepdad bod meet the challenges of everyday dad life successfully and with grace.

Ultimately, the life of the stepdad bod is potentially more fulfilling and longer lasting than that of the dad bod. Stepdad bod doesn't skip Taco Tuesday, Thirsty Thursday or Bingo Night. Stepdad bod crushes pizza with the kids and doesn't deny them their precious Chick-fil-A cravings. But there's a balance. Room for discipline and consistency. Stepdad bod doesn't spend all Sunday prepping meals, but rather, overcooks nutritious family meals and Tupperwares the leftovers. He builds a garage gym and pumps out reps and sets while mom gets the kids ready for bed. The sanity of parenting and step parenting is kept only by this balance.

Most importantly, men, just be yourself. Be realistic, not reckless. Only you are your own judge, so be authentic in your judgement. Take ownership and inventory of your life because after all, despite your bod, just being dad is most important.

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